It's 2009!!!

2007, 2008, 2009, so, what else is new?

Like everyone else, after that NY disco ball dropped at 12:00 midnight Jan 1, you are probably back in the "rat race." The dreaded J-O-B.

One thing that sticks in my mind are those dreaded annual performance reviews. I mean, who would want to sit through that?!? Well, unfortunately, annual performance reviews are here to stay, as 'love handles' and 'man boobs' are here to stay. So, to take the sting off of your last performance review, aren't you glad you weren't the recipient of one of these nasty comments from "THE MAN"?

Taken from actual Employee Performance Reviews

1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and shows signs of starting to dig.

2. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

3. I would not allow this man to breed

4. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be.

5. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

6. When he opens his mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

7. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

8. This man has delusions of adequacy.

9. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

10. This employee should go far -- the sooner he starts, the better.

11. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

12. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

13. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't looking.

14. A room temperature I.Q.

15. Got a full six-pack, but is missing the plastic thingy that holds it together.

16. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

17. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

18. A prime candidate for natural deselection.

19. Bright as Alaska in December.

20. One-celled organisms outscore him in I.Q. tests.

21. Donated his brain to science before he was quite finished using it.

22. Fell out of his family tree.

23. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

24. This man has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

25. He's so dense, light bends around him.

26. If brains were taxed, he would get a rebate.

27. Any dumber and he would have to be watered twice a week.


So, consider yourself lucky. At least you are still in the rat race. Happy 2009, Batch 83!!!

Thanks to bassclefff.com for the list and to www.british-filipino.com for the pic.